ABklynBeauty

Is it Father's Day or Single Mother's day?

2011-06-19T14:05:00.000-04:00

We don’t have this conversation on Mother’s Day, so why today? Single mothers do not play the role of both parents; she does the best she can as a mother. There is still a void with an absent father. Women, stop telling these men it’s ok to be absent because you got it…they’re not needed. I was raised by a single mother and with both parents in the household and there is a significant difference. Any other day of the year women would not argue that men and women are completely different. We communicate, problem solve, eat, poop, encourage others, process information, and even smell different. Mother’s Day is a month before Father’s Day for a reason…let these men have their day.

From Above

2011-01-08T19:07:00.000-05:00

It's nice to be wanted, missed, and loved. The trick is getting them all from one person. That love....that love may only come from above.

Dalmatian

2010-11-09T13:34:00.003-05:00

You were in heat
Dalmatian
You were in heat
and you left your black spots
Smudges
Black spots
Stolen
Black spots
from a dalmatian
Smudges of your DNA
All over her sheets
You were in heat
and you left your black spots
Smudges
Remnants of you
Your black spots,
Dalmatian
You left your DNA
ALL OVER HER SHEETS
You left your Black Spot
You left your son.

Flowers and Trashbags

2010-11-09T12:35:00.002-05:00

Here I am...single again. Stuck with his flowers and trashbags. Most of you have no idea what I'm talking about, so let me explain. After a relationship ends, you are left with the persons flowers and trashbags. The flowers represent all the things you liked about this person. The specific things that kept you trying and wanting everything to work out. Whether it's a beautiful smile, great sense of humor, loving relationship with their children, intelligence, whatever it is...Every time we acknowledge one of those beautiful traits, we mentally receive a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Ohhh, they smell so good. We set them in a vase of water and display them. When our friends come over and ask about out new sweetie, we tell them all about the bouquets of flowers. "Look at them, over there on the mantle. Aren't they beautiful?"

Now the trashbags shouldn't need as much explanation. The trashbag contains all the nasty, smelly stuff. Arrogance, issues with baby mother/father, trust issues, selfishness, communication problems. So, when this stuff comes up, we throw it in the trash can and close the lid. We try not to smell it and instead focus on those beautiful bouquets of flowers. A relationships is successful when the smell of the flowers out weight the trash. When I come home and I smell those sweet flowers, I'm in a good place...all's well. I can hangout there, relax, be loving and caring. When I come home and it smells like the city dump... I'm coughing and gagging, we have a problem.

So, here I am, single again...and I'm left with his flowers and trashbags. Personally, I like to keep one flower. Only one flower. I only keep one so I'm not moping around, sad, and can't move on. I'm not harboring feelings, I'm simply remembering there were good times, a lesson to learn and grow from. These flowers keep the house smelling sweet so I can have a positive, enthusiastic attitude when entering my next relationship. Now here's the important part, we have to bag the trash and take it out...immediately. We like to bag trash and sit it by the back door. All those bags start to pile up and create resentment, envy of others relationships and anger. Now your NEW Boo comes by the house and is wondering what that awful smell is. He sees the flowers but smells the funk. Have you ever smelled when someone sprays a flowery scent over funk? It makes it worse. If they really like you, they may hang in there for awhile...even thought their eyes are tearing up from the stench.

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a public service announcement from the department of Health and Love: Please take out your trash, stop, and smell the roses.

(Written 4/25/09 5am)

Your Voice

2010-11-09T12:29:00.002-05:00

Your voice reminds me//
Sportscasters muted my moans//
Although, we've just met

The question was: How would you describe your personality?

2010-11-09T12:17:00.004-05:00

Me, her, and that other chick. No one really wants to know all of us, especially dudes. If he likes the freak, he doesn't want the intellectual. If he falls for the intellectual, he prefers her shy. If I believe in God, that means I can't enjoy giving head. Why do people want to force shame on others about being themselves? I know why...because they are too scared to be themselves. Y'all are real fucked up. So what do I do? I show you what you want and slowly spoon feed you the rest of me.....until you choke.

Age ain't nothing but a number

2010-05-27T20:34:00.003-04:00

“Age ain’t nothing but a number.” Bullshit. Only young fools say that…and although I’m still young, I’m no fool. This is a saying that’s often used by a young person who has yet to prove their maturity. Our ages are much more than numbers. Unless you’ve lived alone in a cave your entire life, age is a testament of life experiences. Our experiences shape who we are and how we respond to future experiences.

Today a friend of mine told me that, although he has the desire to do one thing, experience has taught him to do the exact opposite. I really respect that because that’s what life experiences are designed to do (along with test our faith in God, but that’s another blog.) For the person that truly believes the opening statement, you are saying those experiences are irrelevant. The opening statement says I would be the same person, make the same choices and decisions, had I not had those experiences. Bullshit. Today I am 33 years old. Ten years ago, I was 23 years old and a different person. I’m not going to list all my differences, but know they are major. The experiences (tired of typing that word now) I’ve had in the past 10 years have shaped who I am today and are completely relevant. “Age ain’t nothing but a number” is like telling the city worker, military enlistee, even doctor, that their years on the job mean nothing and should not count. Those years are more than just getting one day closer to retirement. Those years say what they’ve seen and (here we go again) experienced is important and valued. Ok. I think I’ve made my point.

Another point I wanted to make was although I am 33 years old, I am also 23 years old. I know, I know. I’m going to explain myself. I believe our ages are like rings in a tree trunk and layers of an onion. We add to previous years so they are always there. I know you’ve heard a women complain that her man is a “big o’ baby when he’s sick.” He sure is. He taps into his 6 year old ring. You may have seen a woman get around her father and, before your eyes, transform into a little girl. I believe there’s nothing wrong with tapping into younger rings on occasion, as long as you don’t stay there. We all know those “big ass kids” who dwell in their immature rings. You really wish they would grow the hell up. You might have even suggested this to them once or twice. That’s a down side to having access to younger rings. Anyway, I love being every year of 33 and I look forward to adding on years, rings and (for the last time) …….. experiences.

Autmn

2010-01-05T07:34:00.000-05:00

are you sad, Autumn?//
fallen leaves, self-conscious trees//
can't see their beauty.

Love Tangible

2009-07-24T02:30:00.003-04:00

I sought His guidance//
He appraised you as perfect//
His Love, tangible.

Untitled

2009-07-18T00:45:00.000-04:00

Possible heartbreak//

Experiencing your love//

I will take the chance.

New York

2009-07-07T00:00:00.000-04:00

NEW: city of dreams//

Born in a rotten apple//

YORK: I escaped you.

Your Smile

2009-07-06T23:45:00.001-04:00

your smile makes me feel//

the thoughts that run through my mind//

in an orgasm

The Representative

2008-08-30T15:00:00.000-04:00

So, I'm at the beach again this morning. It's beautiful out here. It's about 7:15am. I'm admiring the life guards doing their drills. Watching the plow rake the sand and all the treasure hunters with their medal detectors (they are funny)...and then I saw him. The only other Black person as far as the eye could see.

He's sitting on the bench facing the new sun and he's knocked out....cold. His head is doing the "Amen". He looks like a Japanese man at the start of a business meeting (bow, stand, bow, stand). He was doing (what we call in the aviation community) touch and go's. This is when an aircraft comes in for an approach but doesn't land. Instead their wheels touch the runway and they take back off. Okay, I'm getting off track...anyway...His body was propped up on the bench and his head would fly back so hard. All I could imagine was: if his head makes contact with that bench post, he will have a concussion.

At this time I'm staring at him and giggling to myself. This is usually what I do when I'm sleepy and in some kind of lecture setting. I find the other sleepy person and laugh at them (try it). Then my focus on him panned out. I start to notice everyone passing him and staring. That's when I started writing.

This situation went from funny to embarrassing. Why did I feel that he represents me and the entire African American race? Do other black people feel represented when that 1 black person does something stupid? Should we feel represented by that one person? Does that person actually represent us? Do you feel like a representative when you are one of the few black people in a crowd? Are you instantly on your best behavior? Do other races feel the same when they are alone in a group? All these questions started flooding my head. Then it got worse.

Around 7:45 (yes, 45 minutes later) a dang marathon started on that very boardwalk. At exactly 8:15am, he woke up and looked at all the marathoners. Three minutes later, his chin was touching his chest. I wanted to pick up that bench (wait...man running past in Speedo) and throw it in the ocean. He'd probably just flip over, like a buoy, and fall back to sleep.

Oh and don't give me that 'maybe he has a medical condition’ mess. Too many times people use that as an excuse for laziness. Every fat person does not have a thyroid problem and every sleeping person is not narcoleptic.

It's 8:30 and I'm still out here. Imagine how much fat he could've burned if he was walking instead of sleeping. 9:15, he's still out here and still asleep. I can only imagine how loud he's snoring. He probably sounds like your neighbors lawn mower at 4am, the morning after you went to the club...as loud as a chainsaw at a funeral. Ewww, and he's sweating like a hotdog on the grill. Maybe I can borrow one of the lifeguard’s bullhorns and yell "WAKE UP" like at the end of the movie "School Daze". Nah, probably wouldn't work. Well, it's 10am. I feel compelled to be extra productive to make up for "The Representative".

Beware of "The Lazy Dater"

2008-08-23T21:16:00.000-04:00

I was at the beach this morning around 7am, people watching…enjoying the weather and view. I saw the avid runners …those people that get up at the crack of dawn every morning and run or cycle. I also noticed the elderly couples riding and roller blading together. This sight made my heart smile…but it was the father and son running together that inspired this blog. These male role models were out riding bikes and running with their sons at 7:30 am.

The bible says “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it". Proverbs 22:6. But it starts before that. We have to make wise choices when we decide who we commit to and have children with. Are you dating someone who only wants to “chill”? They never have plans or take the initiative to do anything? Their idea of a special night is watching a DVD on the couch in the living room instead of in bed?

This lack of enthusiasm is usually a foreshadow of your future. Do you really think a person that plays video games, watches all fashion shows, and home shopping network is going to become more active when you have childern? I don’t have children, but it is not my understanding that they give you energy.

Robert Kiyosaki wrote a book called “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”. Now, I’m not hating on the brothers, but …here we go…"Active Dad, Lazy Dad".

Active Dad: gets up and takes the baby to the park. Although, the baby still doesn’t sleep through the night, he plans a full day anyway. He’s used to being up and out, so now he takes his child.
Lazy Dad: He’s used to sleeping in ‘til noon on his off day. So, now when his baby wakes up, he gives him some food, turns on the TV, and goes back to sleep.

Now, some parents just rolled their eyes, called me a name and/or said how would she know? You’re right, I don’t know. I’m just at the beach...observing the Mom and Dad jogging while pushing the stroller; the daughter racing her mom; the couple riding the couple’s bike together. Now, I’m not saying to dump your Boo and find a triathlete. Hopefully, this blog will spark a conversation. You can talk to your mate about the crazy blog you read today and get their opinion. I’m a 70’s baby. As a child, my motivation to do homework was being allowed to go outside and play. We came home smelling like outside: a combination of sweat, grass, dirt, candy, and car exhaust. I’m not mad at the kids of today. I would’ve wanted to play video games all day if I had a PS3 or Wii instead of the Atari. Although, looking back, my mom had my weekends planned out with music and dance classes. These are just my thoughts. I refuse to entertain the “Lazy Dater”.